If Dr. Seuss Wrote The Book Of Mormon

I got this email from my father-in-law and it was so hilarious that I had to share it with everyone else. Who says that Mormon's don't have a sense of humor?!?

Nephi: Of goodly parents I was born;
I've never drunk, I've never sworn.
This is Lehi, he's my dad;
Laman, Lemuel, they are bad.
And who is this? Why this is Sam!
Sam: Yes, this is Sam; Sam I am.
Laman: That Sam I am, that Sam I am,
I do not like that Sam I am!
Sam: In a tent, my father dwelt...
Laman: And it's so hot, I think I'll melt.
Lemuel: Our father's brain is out of whack.
Laman: Yeah, it's too hot, I'm going back.
Lehi: Then go and get the plates, my dear.
Laman: On second thought, I'm staying here.
Nephi: You said you'd leave and go away,
Now all you want to do is stay?
Lemuel: That Nephi always gets his way!
Laman: Here we are in this damp cave.
Sam: We would not be here if you'd behave.
Nephi: I will go and I will do.
There's the angel, that's my cue!
Laban's had too much to drink;
Now he'll lose his head, I think.
Nephi: Look what I found: a brother from the quorum.
Sam: We will take him home; we will call him Zoram.
Laman: Our gold and silver we have spent.
I do not like it in this tent.
Lemuel: I cannot read the Liahona;
I must have drunk too much Corona.
Laman: We hate it here, we have no lives.
Lehi: Then go back to the city and get some wives.
Lehi: A tree, a tree, I see a tree!!
The fruit is white; the fruit is free!
A floating building, could it be?
Why do they laugh and stare at me?
Laman, Lemuel, come and see!
Laman: We will not eat your precious fruit.
Lemuel: We will not wear a tie and suit.
Laman: We will not help you build your boat.
Lemuel: We do not think that it will float.
Laman: No not this boat, it will not float,
Not even in a shallow moat!
I do not care what Nephi wrote.
Lemuel: We will not eat your fruit I say!
Laman: We will not eat it on a tray.
Lemuel: And we won't eat it in a tent,
Not even if your clothes you rent!
Laman: We'd rather have a can of spam.
L&L: We will not eat it, Sam I am!
Sam: You do not like it, so you say.
Try it, try it, and you may.
Try it and you may I say!
Laman: Sam, if you will let us be,
We will try it, you will see!
L&L: Say, we like this fruit of life!
Sorry that we caused such strife.
You've saved us from an awful jam;
Thank you, thank you, Sam I am!